2 Week Postpartum Update

It's officially 2 weeks after the birth of my little girl. I can honestly say, these past 2 weeks have been the most happiest time of my life and also the most exhausting. 

My baby has changed in appearance so much in these last two weeks, mainly because she's growing darker and looking more and more like her daddy. Since Juli was born under weight, I've had to make a few trips to her pediatrician to make sure she's gaining an appropriate amount. In just these last 2 weeks, she has surpassed her birth weight from 4 lbs 10 oz to 5 lbs 2 oz. Thank God for that!

Now that I have experienced the ins and outs of pregnancy, I can happily say I have love hate emotions about it. Everyone that knows me understood that the last few weeks of pregnancy was killing me and I couldn't wait to not be pregnant anymore. Ironically, I now miss the feeling of my little girl being in my belly. At times, I think I can still feel a kick here and there but I think it's all in my head. It's nice to actually see how my baby acts now and compare it to the weird feelings I felt when she was in my belly. It's nice to make the connection. 

Adapting to mommy hood is a roller coaster ride! Many scares and long nights awake to make sure my baby has everything she needs. I find myself staying awake during her cat naps overnight to make sure she's still breathing. I even pick her up and place her on my chest and doze off with her so I know when she's up and so I can feel her chest rising as she breathes in and out.  It can be pretty nerve racking. Especially when your child has been diagnosed with some heart issues.

 The most trying task of all is knowing how to get sleep when she's asleep. I feel so exhausted all the time from my very long nights awake with her. (Yes! My baby is a night owl; She sleeps very good during the day.) I'm glad I have great family members like my mom/dad that have been helping my hubby and I with the baby and keeping up our home as I recover. What would I do without them? 

Another challenge would have to be breast feeding. My baby isn't the problem, it's me apparently. The initial latch on is hard for me. I always get crunched on. So I fell in love with my electric pump. Which is still a lot of work to me. Especially when you produce a lot of milk. I have to pump after every feeding which is about every 2 hours. Besides the frequency and feeling like a cow, it's pretty easy! And you get a feeling of accomplishment when you see bottles full of food that your own body produced for your baby. 

I won't lie, my first week with my baby, I grew very overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed. My emotions took over and I grew sad and cried it out one day. I, of course, expressed this to my husband and my mother. Feelings like that can always lead to postpartum depression. So if you ever feel down after pregnancy, definitely call someone and don't let your emotions take over. My husband and I think that it should be mandatory to explain all of the postpartum stuff in more detail. Especially with the healing time and postpartum bleeding. Some days, I get freaked out by the amount of blood. Apparently, breastfeeding/ pumping causes you to bleed out more which I did not know! I think it would of been nice to know that beforehand. 

When I was pregnant, all I heard were countless stories of other women and their pregnancy horror stories and how I won't ever get any sleep again and that my little girl will take my place in my husbands heart. A lot of things, if you ask me, is stuff you shouldn't express to a pregnant women who is already anxious, uncomfortable, and sometimes fearful of the future that isn't so far off. As a friend of mine mentioned in her blog, people should say nothing but encouraging things to pregnant women. Uplift their spirits, don't crush them! 

In spite of my exhaustion, I enjoy every second I get with my daughter. I think it's well worth the discomfort of pregnancy and the pain of labor. I'm so in love with her and my new role as a mom.