Sleep Dilemma Part 2: The Sidecar Solution

In my blog entry, The Sleep Dilemma, I faced a challenge that all moms go through. Although it seemed like sleep would never come to me again, as my baby got older, things got way better. At around the time I wrote part 1, my baby was sleeping stretches of 5 hours before waking up for a midnight nursing session. And then would go back to sleep and maybe wake up again a few hours later. Once or twice a night was quite an accomplishment to me because those first 4 months with my baby was so hard. She was extremely fussy and couldn't fall asleep. I had to call in for reinforcements just so I wouldn't go completely crazy! It's good to always have support. 

My little girl is 1 now and I can take a deep sigh of relief in knowing that she's a good sleeper now. She still wakes up once in the late hour of the morning but usually can fall back asleep if I rock or nurse her. Some nights are such a blessing because she won't wake up at all until the next morning. 

You're probably asking, how is this a dilemma? Well.... imagine having your baby being able to sleep long stretches but ONLY in your bed snuggled up under your arms. You're scared to move, scared to get out of the bed and leave them, and just feel cramped especially with you, the baby, and the daddy! You know the saying, 3's a crowd. 

My husband and I have been trying to sleep train her into her own crib so we can peacefully have our bed back to snuggle with each other. However, after many failed attempts and long nights of no sleep, I was at my wits end. My daughter just felt the comfort of being near us. Although we love co sleeping, we just wanted to have her in her own bed to get use to it but still remain in our room. That way when she's older, or when baby #2 arrives, she can graduate to her own room. 

I did countless hours of research on how to successfully train your child to sleep in their crib. I tried getting her use to it by putting her in it a few minutes each day. I tried putting her in it once she fell asleep in my arms (Epic fail. She'd wake up before her body even hit her mattress). I attempted getting in the crib with her. I did fit but she just thought it was playtime.😝 I even attempted the cry it out method and I last a whole 6 min before the screeching  yells became to unbearable. I am not a fan of this method at all as you can tell.

 I couldn't think of what more I could do but to keep trying what I've been doing and just suffer the consequences of no sleep for a while. I thought my hard work will eventually pay off and my baby girl will be sleeping in her crib in no time. I, on the other hand, would be a zombie.

 

I joined a support group of new moms online and brought my dilemma to their attention. It's amazing how many women out there are like me and believe strongly in the benefits of co sleeping and bed sharing. They were all so positive and were full of awesome advice. One of which had me puzzled because I never heard of the term that was used. It peaked my interest and I googled it. Sidecar your crib. It's very simple. It's basically a crib that you convert into a co sleeper. I grew extremely excited because doing this would make our baby sleep in her own crib but still be "bed sharing" with us without actually being in our bed. That means, my hubby and I get our space back! I quickly made a list of items I didn't have on hand and needed to buy to get started on morphing our crib into a sidecar. 

To create a sidecar crib you will need:

A convertible crib (my crib is a 3 in 1 crib) 

Allen wrench to dismantle crib

Bungee cords or rope (retails at Walmart for $2.88)

Pillows or foam noodles ( I used a body pillow. Retails at Walmart for $6.96)

Instructions:

Here's our crib with all four sides on 

1. Take one side off your crib to make it into a toddler bed. 

2. Bring crib up close to the bed and determine what level to make the crib frame. Then change the crib frame to the highest level that will be leveled with your bed

3. Use bungee cords to secure crib to bed

4. Put the baby mattress in the crib and push it up close to the adult bed.

5. Stuff the gaps with the body pillow

Our finished product and my daughter getting into things 😊

(We put the nightstand at the foot of the bed next to the crib and put baby wipes and diapers there so no one has to get up and change her in the middle of the night)

6. Test it out before laying baby in it

Everything was tight and sturdy and by this time, my baby girl and I were ready for bed. We did our normal nighttime routine and once she fell asleep, I put her next to me on her baby mattress. I absolutely love this concept and it worked out for us our first night. I hope to have an update in a week or two to share if this idea was a success for us or not. So far, it's great! 

A Year of Miracles

I wanted to take the time out to acknowledge not only a typical day of the birth of my only little girl but a day that means way more! To me, this day is not just a birthday but a day that reminds me that dreams do come true and that God is a God of miracles. This day reminds me to trust in Him in ALL things because HE ultimately has plans that sometimes may not be ours. But in this case, it definitely was.

Juliana,

You are so incredibly special. Words cannot express the joy that has engulfed my life since the day you graced us with your presence. You have stolen my heart and have open up a side in me that I never knew I had. When you were born, I was so scared, excited, and overwhelmed by the thought of me being the best mom I could be and I hope I've shown you that in just this one year we've had together. I knew since the moment you were born that God had plans for you! Being born at such a low birth weight and having the possibility of not making it in my womb due the umbilical cord issues proves that God had his hand throughout the whole pregnancy and delivery. HE made you a survivor and I will forever be grateful to HIM. Especially looking back at all the issues you've had afterwards: the holes in your heart, the breathing issues, acid reflux (YES! in babies) and you fainting on us from anemia; God always seemed to get you out of it. All of those problems have been prayed for and healed. I've always dreamed of what being a mother would feel like and it definitely surpasses anything I ever thought of. Being your mom makes me feel like I'm on cloud 9 everyday. Looking at you today and seeing how far you've come makes me realize how vitally important it is to pray and have faith. When I need a miracle, all I need to do is look at you and know that I've been blessed to see one every single day. You have grown into a beautiful little 1 year old and one with such a HUGE personality. You are everything I could ever hope for. Thank you for being such a sweet little angel and for making me the luckiest mother in the world. Keep on growing Juli but just not to fast!

Love Always,

"Mum"

 

Daddy's On Board

As a new parent, you face different hurdles when raising your little one. Sometimes these hurdles can be quite difficult to climb over alone. That's why I think it's so important for a child to have 2 parents. When the going gets tough, it's nice to have a back up partner. Correct me if I'm wrong, but, as mommies, it seems as though life changes dramatically more than that of the daddies. Life revolves around pumping, breast feeding, long sleepless nights, early morning crying baby wake up calls, early rising, no private time, and the list goes on. Things seem to stay the same for the man. At least that's how I felt with my man. It sometimes feels like you have a partner for back up in just some areas, like during the day so they won't miss any sleep. That sort of thing. It's like help has its limitations. Where as for the mom, her whole life revolves around the baby. And when your hands get thrown up, the dad scratches his head wondering why you're exaggerating. They'll never say that of course but you can see it in their eyes.

 Apparently it's quite common for moms to feel this way. I thought I was thinking up irrational things and not being fair to my husband. Men have things that change for them just as women do. Their brains are wired differently. The financial burden and thought processes over security are probably what plagues their mind. 

Even though at times we feel like we are doing the brunt of all the "dirty" work, dads are right there with us. May not be in the way we want because let's face it, they just don't have the nurturing touch. And that can be something I wish they could have so that way when it's 4 am and the baby is wanting one on one nurturing time, we could tag team so I can get my shut eye as well. But God didn't program it like that I guess. 

My baby girl is almost 1. And what I've learned in this past year is to not be afraid to admit or feel guilty of your feelings. If you need help, ask. If you are fed up, ask for break and take a breather. I know sometimes we as moms can feel like we need to prove something. "We can do it all," just like we are superwoman. We unfortunately can't do it all no matter how many times we are fed the womens lib out cries. We most definitely can't do it without our men. 

To all the daddy's out there, just know you are appreciated. If it hasn't crossed your mind, make sure your women is feeling ok and ask if she needs some sane time. Or even a nap! Don't be afraid of that one on one time with your baby because you got everything under control, you are superdad, our heros at it's finest.
 Remember that the best way to learn is to learn hands on. Mommies learned that way, so you can too. 

Funny joke to express some humor on the topic:

"Little Blessings from Above"

In today's society, we are shown and told so many different reasons why we should depopulate this earth by taking a second thought on bearing and raising children. It has been embedded in our brains that success is what's important and you gain success by putting yourself as your priority. Success is wealth. Success is having the "American Dream." Having new cars, a new house, money saved up in the bank, and being able to travel all over the world is the most important thing! Success has no room for children. They try to brainwash us into thinking that children should only come to those who have so much money saved up to be able to afford them. It's funny to me that the very thought of not having children is based very heavily on the ability of the parent to be able to send their child to college. (Let's face it, with the world growing more and more expensive, there will never be enough money to have children nor to even think about putting them into college. There is no set price on how much a child will cost.)

It's very disgusting and down right disheartening to me to see the morals of society shade so dim. It has become incredibly numb to Gods word. I can probably sit down with any parent of the world and ask them about children and they would most likely say something along the lines as:  children are a burden, they're too much money, OR they wish that they would've waited and so on. But what happens when these very same views start to infect the church of God?

Christianity is something so uniquely special. We are his called out ones. A separate people. We are not to be like the world. The world has a selfish motive whereas Christianity is strictly selfless. Christ went into the world and taught his disciples  about loving your neighbor and loving your enemy. His very essence and being was to teach on having a selfless attitude and to teach the Good news of the great kingdom to come. You cannot be selfish and teach the world in His Kingdom. 

I believe God created parenting for very strong reasons. He wanted us to be fruitful and to multiply. To populate His world because He wants to make a huge God family. Every child born into this world is yet another spirit with the potential of being in His royal family. God has given humanity a precious gift that no other species or spiritual being in heaven possess: The opportunity to procreate beings with a high divine purpose. The very design of male and female show us one thing, He created us to do just that. Male and female, He created them. It's like a puzzle piece that fits perfectly. 

 

We see God in our unique design. We see HIM in the role of the female. How amazing is it to be able to say that we, as women, have been privileged to bear the load of having a potential spirit being growing inside our wombs. With each week that passes, and each trimester we pass, we can see the hand of God and His incredible design. As the uterus expands, our bodies adapt and make room for the little being. And the body does its job with the delivering process. The uterus begins to contract and open the cervix to allow for the baby to push into the birth canal for delivery. And it begins to heal itself when it's all over. Its so amazing, I get chills every time I think back to my pregnancy. The whole experience was an experience of a lifetime.

Being a parent is never an easy thing. Being a Christian is not an easy thing. Nothing ever

comes easy in life. In everything, we should expound on the lessons God is giving to us. What lessons does He gives us with being a parent?

1.) He's teaching us to be selfless. Being a parent will definitely teach us that. Parenting is presented with a multitude of opportunities to present selfless acts.

2.) He's teaching us how to have unconditional love. A love for a child is unlike any other love. It's something indescribable.

3.) He's teaching us to nurture. We'll definitely need to know how to do this to nurture others in the millennium

4.) He's teaching us holiness and virtue along with patience, humility, and trust in Him. When we have children, it teaches us to be patient with them when teaching them the ways of life, discipline, and the love of God. It takes humility to accept when we may make wrong decisions for our families and learn to trust in God to raise godly children in a perverse and wicked generation. Many people claim to not want to have children because of this wicked world. That proves one thing, we don't trust in Him to care for us and the well being of our children. We allow fear to get the best of us. And Christ favorite words to His disciples were to not fear. ("O yea of little faith.")

 

All in all, He's teaching us to be like HIM. He wants a family. How could He teach us each role in a way that we can fully comprehend His desires? By letting us live through it by example. When one marries, two lives become one. Its a comparison of Christ and His bride, the church and a comparison of God the Father and Christ the son and their partnership. So in marriage, we learn to be like Him.When a husband and wife begin to have children, we are taught Gods love as a parent so in turn are learning to be like Him in a role as a parent. Each role in my eyes is equally as important in capturing the purpose of His plans and seeing His heart with his ultimate design. Following by example helps opens a window into God's heart. He sees children as a gift and a reward. For His people to adopt the thoughts and morals of this world is disheartening and a smack to Gods purpose for his children.

 

 

 

"I thought that one day I'd become a famous artist and create great works of art. Instead, God made me a mother, and my children are His masterpiece. The design of their lives will live on after me. What is painted on their hearts will last an eternity."

-Anonymous

 

Spring Project- Dream nursery in the making

It's amazing how fast time flies. It feels like just yesterday I wrote my last post "Beauty after the bump". But apparently it was months ago! I never realized how time consuming having a baby can be. Sometimes, I'm so exhausted and tired I don't have the energy to get up and cook something for dinner. Welcome to motherhood. But it's all worth it.

A couple months ago, my little family and I had our dreams come true and we got to buy our first house to build so many new memories with our baby girl. When spring break came, I had to get to work on her room. I wanted the nursery I always dreamed of creating. I picked the vacant room that was already primed with white paint since it would be easier to transition.

 

I placed painters tape to keep the floor boards from getting paint on them

 

I also placed paint across the middle of the wall, measuring so it's the same height all the way across the room.

 



And I got some ideas from Pinterest. When I was pregnant with my little girl, I dreamt of creating a butterfly garden themed nursery. So I kept that in mind and wanted to create this.

I decided on the colors lavender and pink as the base colors for the walls. An idea I saw on Pinterest helped my creativity to go at work. I decided on doing two toned walls. Lavendar color on top and pink on the bottom separating the colors with a white wooden border. All supplies that I bought from our local home depot store. With the help of my big sister who flew in town, we went to work on painting my girl's room.
 

 

Started with purple and went over it with about 3 coats

 

 

Then painted the bottom with pink, about 2 coats

 

And with the assistance of my dad, he put the border up when the walls were completely dry. I proceeded to decorate the room to be bright and colorful and full of flowers and butterflies. On 2 walls by the entrance door, I painted the walls completely pink to be able to scrapbook a shadow box of all my babies first things and to start a "grow with me" chart to keep track of how big she's growing.

 

I got wall decals from Walmart to place on the wall

 

 

Made her changing table into a shelf to hold some of her toys

 and books

 

 

Her Shadow Box (below)

Pictured inside: Maternity photo, her preemie outfit and sock, hospital bracelet, hospital name tag, and first photo ever in my belly.

 

 

I got the frame and scrapbooking supplies from Michaels

 

 

Growth Chart

Took a measuring tape and placed on wall and decorated around it. Will mark her measurements with a wet erase marker/sharpie.

 

 

 

I am incredibly happy and excited of the outcome of all my hardwork. My husband, who is so not into this type of stuff, was very pleased. I'm happy to see the many memories my little girl will create in her new room.

 

<3