“Blessed shall be the offspring of your body and the
produce of your ground and the offspring of your beasts, the increase of your
herd and the young of your flock.”- Deuteronomy 28:4
Pregnancy can seem like the longest adventure you’ll ever
encounter. It’s a waiting game. You wait for that baby to develop and watch
this happen with each passing week. And you wait for the end of it all where
you will be united with a little person you already grew to love so much. That
last and glorious day has changed from a mere dream to reality for me.
After my 24th week of pregnancy, I basically
started “the last hunch” countdown to the BIG D-day! I was super excited when I
hit my 28th week. I had finally crossed over into my last trimester.
It made being pregnant more surreal in knowing that in a few short weeks, my
little princess will be here in my arms at last. This week my baby was the size of an eggplant, roughly
weighing in at 1.5-2.5 pounds. At this stage, her lungs were mature enough to
be able to live outside of the womb and breathe on her own. Such a miraculous
thought in knowing this little person would be able to survive without me. After talking with my midwife, I found out
that there is a policy at her birthing center that states only full term
mothers will be able to birth there. She explained to me that I’d have to make
it to 37 weeks. This of course alarmed me because I had so many fears of
delivering preterm and having to experience a hospital birth. My greatest fear
was having to deliver by cesarean. And from what I’ve seen, hospitals = cesarean.
At least from what I’ve noticed. It was within this week that a close friend of
mine delivered her baby by cesarean due to complications. At only 26 weeks, she
gave birth to a beautiful 2 pound baby boy. This startled me into thinking
something like that could happen to me. I learned the hard way that things don’t
always go as planned with pregnancy. (Make sure to read Expect the Unexpected) So I continued to pray and let God give me
the peace I need to make it through these next few weeks without stressing over
the what ifs.
At week 30, I began my 10 week countdown. My baby was
now the size of a cucumber weighing in at 2.5- 3.8 pounds. At this stage, the
skin continues to smooth and the brain is getting more wrinkled to make way for
more brain tissue. This week I began making the last finishing touches for my
preparation. With my hospital bags packed and in the trunk of my car along with
the car seat my husband installed, I was mentally prepared for the unexpected. I
was ridiculed by many for this, they stated I was rushing and it was just too
soon to be that prepared! It reminded me of my favorite parable in the bible.
The Parable of the 10 virgins. In this parable, Christ described 2 different
groups of people: 5 of the 10 that were mentally, spiritually, and physically
prepared for the unexpected, and the other 5 that were unprepared and tried
scrambling around at the last minute. It was when they heard the bridegroom
coming that they tried to get prepared quickly so they wouldn’t miss out. These
5 ended up leaving to get what they needed meanwhile leaving the 5 prepared
virgins to greet the bridegroom and leave with Him. When the 5 slackers came
back, they noticed they missed the call and it was too late. This is a great
example of how God’s disciples should be in everyday life. Always prepared,
always ready.
“Watch
therefore, because you do not know the day nor the hour” – Matthew 25:13
“So
you must also be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour you do not
expect.” – Matthew 24:44
So I just shrugged off all the remarks and kept myself
prepared and ready to go. The funny thing is, no one truly knows when a baby
will decide they’re ready to come into the world. A due date is only an
estimation, not to be taken as the real deal. In this logic, at 30 weeks, I
could begin laboring any day or week following.
At week 32, my baby was the size of squash weighing in
at 2.5-3.8 pounds. At my prenatal visit, it was discovered that my baby had
dropped head down into my lower pelvis preparing for birth! This alarmed the
nurses since the whole pregnancy I made little weight gain and my belly’s
circumference started measuring smaller than what it should be. At 32 weeks, I should
be measuring at 32 centimeters and was only measuring at 28 centimeters. So I
was sent for an emergency ultrasound at the hospital to check on the status of
my baby. After the ultrasound and other testing, it was determined that my
little girl was a tiny one but strong and healthy. They diagnosed Juliana with intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) meaning she is developing
underweight compared to the average baby. They wanted to continue to monitor me
in the next few weeks. This news made my midwife place me on partial bed rest
and told me to drink protein shakes to fatten up my little one. This was a
scary moment for me in my pregnancy and believed it could have been my fault as
to why my baby wasn’t growing. I tried not to over think it and placed it in God’s
hands.
“Don’t worry about anything;
instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all
he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we
can understand. His
peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 4:6-7
At 37 weeks, my baby was
the size of a winter melon and should be weighing in at 6.2-9.2 pounds. My baby was practicing some skills such as
inhaling/ exhaling, sucking, gripping, and blinking. This was an exciting week
for me since this is the week that put me at full term. So I was able to
deliver with my midwife at the birthing center and have a natural birth! All of my praying has paid off just as He says it
would.
“Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you
will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7
It was then I realized my
little one will be here any day now. It was all so overwhelmingly exciting for
me. I began the last finishing touches of my baby’s nursery and started my
nesting phase where I needed to get everything cleaned and spotless!
At week 38, my baby was
the size of a pumpkin and should still be weighing in the 6.2-9.2 pound range.
At this stage, my baby was shedding the white goo that protected her skin
against the fluid and her head circumference would finally measure as the same
circumference as her abdomen. At this week’s prenatal check up, my midwife checked the
position of my baby and felt what seemed to be a bony protrusion. She
stated it did not feel like a nice round head and wondered if my baby was
still head down. So I was sent to yet another ultrasound! I went to an
outpatient radiology center where the doctor on staff read my scan and
determined my baby girl was way too small to be 38 weeks along. He went as far
to say that with measurements like this, my baby should be due the first week
of July! The results were faxed to my midwife right away and as I was explaining
this to my husband once I got home, I got a call from my midwife stating that
these results alarmed her and she wanted me to head over to the hospital
emergency room for an evaluation from an OB. This definitely alarmed me in so
many ways! I’m thinking to myself, didn’t they already determine this a few
weeks ago and claim everything was fine with the baby? Why are they making this
such a huge deal! I started crying to my husband telling him that I didn’t want
to go. I had made it to that hospital twice and was released without any
complications and was so sure that this time will be different! And man, was I
right!
I got another ultrasound done at the hospital after
waiting in the ER triage for hours! The results of this one matched the same
findings as the first. The OB on staff at the time came in to speak with my
husband and I and told me that my baby shouldn’t be measuring this small at 38
weeks and that there is something wrong here. The next words coming out of her
mouth were words I feared to hear. “We think the best thing now is to go ahead
and induce.” I laughed it off and questioned her. I couldn’t believe what I was
hearing! She stated that my baby was not getting the proper nourishment it needed
in my womb and at this point would do be doing better outside of my womb. She
tells my mom, who is just as hysterical as I am, that if we don’t do this, there
is a possibility that we will lose Juliana. With that being said, we agreed to
the terms and I began preparations to becoming induced. Since there were no beds
available on the high risk unit, we had to wait until morning before being
induced. I spent my night in triage thinking and praying about all possible
outcomes. I tried thinking only positively until remembering that God granted
this child to me, so I know HE will get us out of this unharmed.
“And if any of you
do lack wisdom, let him ask from God, who is giving to all liberally, and not
reproaching, and it shall be given to him; and let him ask in faith, nothing
doubting, for he who is doubting hath been like a wave of the sea, driven by
wind and tossed, for let not that man suppose that he shall receive anything
from the Lord “ – James 1:5-7
I
had to remember to not doubt God because through Him, all things are made
possible!
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you
trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy
Spirit.” – Romans 15:13
Early that morning, I was able to get a bed and was moved to the
high risk unit where I was induced with Cervidil which started at 9:30am. This was the
moment I feared throughout my whole pregnancy! For the next few hours, I experienced
the greatest pain I have ever encountered in my life! Although I wasn’t giving birth at the birthing center with my
midwife, I tried to make this experience like I would have wanted and the most
natural. To my surprise, the hospital staff allowed more freedom and time to
labor then I expected. I wasn’t attached to an IV, I was able to eat and drink,
and I was able to have my doula and as many family members with me to get
through the most difficult task I ever encountered. To my amazement, throughout
the intensifying pain, I found myself screaming out that I couldn’t do this and
needed pain medication right away. The pain, being so great, had put me into a
state of delirium. My nurse came in with some medication and pushed it through
my IV hep lock. At the time, I was told it was pain medication but it turned
out to be something to relax me. It did help, for about an hour only!
Two hours after being induced, I was already at 3 cm! Shortly
after I was checked again to find out that I dilated more and was now 5 cm! It
was at this point that it seemed as if the pain dramatically intensified to
numbers I can’t even fathom. I definitely thought that I was near death! My doula
and my mom kept telling me at each contraction to breathe and to keep my mind
fixated on something pleasant. I kept my mind fixated on God and how he must be
looking down on me smiling at the miraculous thing taking place. Another
beautiful being about to be born in this world as a potential king in HIS
Kingdom to come!
“..and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and Perfecter of our faith, who for
the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at
the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:2
“Look to the LORD
and his strength; seek his face always.” – 1 Chronicles 16:11
It seems as if only 30 minutes had passed before the doctor came
into the room to check me and I heard the words “She’s complete!” A sigh of
relief came upon me as I knew the worse has already occurred. I have
experienced the peak of pain in my contractions and it wouldn’t get any worse
then what I already felt. That gave me some peace of mind! In the next couple
of seconds, my room filled up with tons of medical personnel. I couldn’t even
see or hear my family or my doula anymore. It was at this moment that I just
blocked everything out, kept my eyes closed, and fixated on God. I was praying
silently in my head for HIS strength to get through this next stage of labor.
As they were transferring me from the room I was in to the delivery floor, I
kept hearing the nurses talk back and forth about how “in the zone” I was and
that I was a super trooper to be doing this "au natural". It made me feel good
and gave me the encouragement I needed to begin the next step in labor and
delivery. Once I reached the delivery room, they set me up on the bed and told
me when I have the urge to push during a contraction, go ahead and do it. I
felt that urge, and I pushed for 10 long seconds, took a breath, and did it
again, repeating about 3 times. Each push led me closer to meeting my little
precious baby girl. After 20 minutes of this cycle, my baby girl popped out
with ease! My eyes still closed, and my body drenched in sweat, I felt like I
had been hit by a mack truck repeatedly. All the agonizing moments of labor,
and the whole process of pregnancy had been all a dream once they placed my
little girl on my chest to meet her mommy for the first time. I was so exhausted
by the torment of the last few hours that I wasn't conscience enough to
take in that moment fully. I held her for a few seconds before the nurse took
her from me and rushed her down to the nursery to run some test. My husband and I had our touching lovable moments together, then he kissed my sweaty forehead before running after
our little girl.
After being stitched up and made comfortable in recovery, I
had time to mentally realize what had just occurred. This little person I anticipated
meeting for the past 9 months was finally here! And although I had just endured
what seemed like a never ending cycle of torment, I quickly forgot all about it
when I was moved to my recovery room and my little girl was placed in my arms
once again. I looked down at my little girl with tears filling my eyes and I
thanked the God above for all his miraculous wonders! I remembered the
scripture in John where it talks about childbirth:
“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has
come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish,
for joy that a human being has been born into the world.” –John 16:21
It’s so crazy to me how quickly we can forget the agony we go
through once we meet our little bundle of joy. Those next few hours of bonding
with my baby made everything I ever hoped for all surreal. I couldn’t believe
that all the planning, trying to conceive, announcement of my pregnancy and sex
of the baby, and the last few weeks of pregnancy, have all come and gone. My
anticipation was quickly and unexpectedly rendered on May 23, 2014. What a joy
it was to experience all that I have experienced. And I know that this little
girl is truly special and God has major plans for her in the future.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down
from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to
change.” –James 1:17
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