"The Soul Mate Blues"

I have met so many people that I overhear talking about their marriages. The verdict of what I hear is always that they, mostly men, are very unhappy in their marriage. I've heard them call their spouse names and try to get the single men to not wed EVER! They tell them: "If you don't marry the 'right' one, you'll be miserable. So just don't do it." Or they'll say, "Don't do it, look at me. Wait until you know for a fact that you found your soul mate." 

I'd of course always chime in and try to uplift the heavy thoughts on marriage with throwing out the positives. For starters, I say, not everyone is unhappy in their marriages. And even if you are, it's up to the 2 individuals to change that around. It won't change by sitting around complaining about it. They usually laugh off my comments and tell me that I'm a newlywed and pregnant with my first so life is good in my marriage right now, but sooner or later, my husband and I will have a different story.

These ideas saddened me so much, I had to write a blog about it and get out my viewpoints on this subject. The main thing I'd like to address is the comment on the 'Soul Mate.' There seems to be this idea that there is a "perfect" person for you somewhere out there in the world, and it is our duty to go out and find this one person or we will never find true love and happiness. I use to believe this until one day I researched it on my own. Where did this idea come from? I'll tell you, its another fable brought up by Greek mythology. Its not biblical at all! 

In Plato's Symposium (385- 380 BC), the origin was told. Zeus created a bi-gender human until one day he decided to separate them and create male and female in his wrath of jealousy. This caused the fit puzzle to be scrambled into pieces causing them to long and to want their partner desperately. Thus creating the "soul mate" concept. Interesting huh? I thought so. 
So how did this become a huge part in the American concept of love? Who knows. I have a thought, and I know I am not alone in this. I believe this idea grew so big because it gave people an excuse for a divorce. If they're unhappy, they can go divorce their spouse, and go out and find their true soul mate. 

I am a Christian. And when I got married, there were so many scriptures read on marriage and love
that have become the foundation of my marriage. The way God describes marriage, shows us the idea of two different people becoming one! In a way, making them soul mates. 

I read this in an article on gotquestions.org: "a marriage may not be as unified and joyous as a couple wishes it to be. A husband and wife may not have the physical, emotional, and spiritual unity that they desire but even in this instance, the husband and wife are still soul mates. A couple in this situation needs to work on true "soul mate" intimacy. By obeying what the bible teaches about marriage (and love), a couple can develop the intimacy, love, and commitment that being "one flesh" soul mate entails. If married, you are married to your soul mate."

I could not agree anymore. The outcome of a marriage is on YOU. Even if your marriage is not all you would like it to be, it is still within God's sovereign will and plan. He has a purpose with things in your life that may not make sense right now. And it is up to you to seek HIM and have HIM direct your life and your marriage. Divorcing someone because they aren't your definition of a "soul mate" is claiming that God makes mistakes and that HE does not have the capability to turn your marriage around into a harmonious one. (I do believe there are exceptions to divorce which the bible confirms- but that is another topic altogether)

My last thoughts: Being a soul mate is a verb. Just as love is a verb. These two things are actions. And with action comes great responsibility on the individual. It's a constant thing to work on daily. My husband and I work hard on this and pray that we never give up hope on these things or on each other. It's important for any woman to have these things established with their spouse first before bringing in an innocent child. My husband and I want our marriage to be the greatest example of love, commitment, and trust for our precious baby girl so that one day, she too, will become a true soul mate and make her husband the happiest man alive.