"With Great Anticipation"

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD; The fruit of the womb is a reward Psalm 127:3-5

According to the CDC vital statistics, in the year 2010, there were 3,999,386 babies born. On average, about 10,650 are born every day! That’s a lot of babies! When we look at each birth individually, we can take a look at the overwhelming feelings of excitement and fear of each mother. When you look at the process of development over the course of forty long weeks, you will notice the hand of God with each and every day that passes. You, as a mother, will hold the greatest gift God has given to women since the time of Adam and Eve’s fall.

Five months ago, I found out the greatest news of all time! I became pregnant with my first child. A little over 5 weeks along, I was so excited, I couldn’t stop bouncing around and sharing the news with all my loved ones. I immediately began to plan, daydream, and analyze EVERYTHING with this new being that will be in my arms in just a few short months. There is so much to prepare and so much to do in such little time.

Throughout my pregnancy, I wanted to become closer to my baby by signing up for a “pregnancy tracker” so I know with each passing week, what my baby was doing and what stage of development he or she was in. At just five weeks, my little embryo was .13 inches and about the size of an apple seed. This tiny apple seed was beginning to divide into three layers of cells which will become 3 distinct systems of the human body: the central nervous system containing its brain and spine, the circulatory system forming its arteries and veins, and then the bottom layer forming its lungs, digestive system and internal organs!

To my astonishment, I was in awe to realize this embryo was already busy at work with its development into becoming a human being. I couldn’t help but to see the parallels of this baby to not only mine, but all of human kind’s great potential of this life!

Since the day of my baptism back in 2010, I made a covenant with the Father (the GREAT I AM) to make a complete life change, take up my cross, and follow HIM. I, in turn, received HIS very existence in me to help guide me through this thing called life. But becoming a disciple of Christ isn’t the easiest thing. It’s more than just making a verbal commitment, but to make a complete life change and put HIM first in all I do. Each day is a journey.  Each day, we should be at work with spreading the good news of the Kingdom of God and developing in us Godly character to be fit in this new world coming. At such a young age, we to have a part in the development of the body of Christ.  In this sense, age is nothing but a number.

Over the next few weeks, I will start to forego many changes in my own body, mood, and overall state of health. Morning sickness has kicked in by this point due to the over powering surge of hormones flowing through my bloodstream. It’s interesting to think back and remember my go to remedy was ginger! Ginger ale, ginger candy, ginger pops! This is what kept me going! And it’s a great parallel to my life and how spiritually my go to remedy is PRAYER. That’s what keeps me going. And food cravings are just “too real” in every pregnancy. From chocolate to cheesecake, to even a huge glass of a green monster smoothie! Pregnancy cravings will keep you on edge. It reminds me of the overpowering Godly spirit I have flowing inside me that keep my spiritual cravings flowing. We each should have the craving of drawing nearer to Christ each and every day.

Time went on, and at just 11 weeks, my embryo was now developed enough to be called a fetus. I got to see this little fetus during an ultrasound for the very first time! Just in six weeks, the fetus grew at an unbelievable rate!  At 1.6 inches and now the size of a lime, the fetus showed a distinct body that to my amusement looked much like a little peanut. In the next few weeks following, I began to nickname this being, “my little peanut.” At this stage of development, the baby had developed ears that will now move to the side of its head to make it look more human. And its reproductive organs will now continue forming to become more distinguished. During this time, I grew more and more eager to know the million dollar question, is it a boy or a girl? In just a few short weeks, my husband and I will finally know how to truly prepare for the last half of pregnancy.

With my first trimester coming to a close, joy filled my heart because it is during this time that the baby’s development is so crucial. Anything could cause the baby to be harmed and stop development. Over eighty percent of miscarriages occur during the first twelve weeks. A safe estimate would be that in the following weeks, pregnancy loss drops at three to four percent, making it less likely to occur.  

This reminded me of our journey as Disciples of Christ in our developmental stage of spiritual newborn babes.

In 1 John 2:12-14, it list three levels of spiritual growth.  In verse 12, HE speaks about little children first, which symbolizes us at our first stage of spiritual growth. The first stage would be at baptism where we are forgiven. Just as a new child only knows their father, we at this stage, know THE Father and it doesn’t dive deeper into HIS truths until more mature. This is a crucial time of our spiritual development because we are so new and innocent in this new life, if not attached to HIS word constantly, our development can be interrupted.

“As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby”- 1 Peter 2:2

Just as my “Peanut” has attached itself to my womb and stay connected to me through its umbilical cord, the very essence of its life, we are to remain connected to HIM to sustain ours as well.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5

It was shortly after entering my second trimester; I began to actually distinguish baby movements from what I confused with “bubble guts” in the weeks prior. The fetus began to develop strength as time allowed for its development. It was around 17 weeks that I could now feel an actual human being growing and trying to get comfortable in a big bubble of protection from the world. There is no describing the incredible feeling of this miraculous gift; the moment that a mother can now connect to a dream unimaginable. To now see the evidence of a baby in your womb with an ever growing belly and being able to connect with them with every stretch, kick, and somersault!

The anticipation to know the gender of my Peanut grew to an overwhelming rate. In the next 3 weeks, I lost many hours of sleep while tossing and turning in bed just thinking of each outcome, boy or girl? I always thought a boy was so much easier to take care of. So I was a little nervous if the outcome was the other way around. I would adore any gender God blessed me with, but I knew, from looking back at the issues I caused my own mother, having a girl would take a lot of work and persistence. Girls are just overall emotional creatures.  I would lay in bed and think of how I can be a good mother to this being growing inside me. So many things I have to teach them like the basics: who I am, who their father is, and how much we love him or her. And who God the Father is. Why HE ultimately created him or her and mommy and daddy. I have to teach them about the KINGDOM, love, discipleship, and discipline. Even other basics such as the common things of life: counting, reading, potty training, etc. I could go on and on of thinking of so many aspects of child rearing. The night would slip on and I would still be awake! I started thinking of different ideas to start decorating the baby’s nursery as well!

Finally at 20 weeks, my baby was 6.5 inches and now the size of a small cantaloupe. Reaching the halfway mark of pregnancy, I grew excited in knowing that meeting this little peanut was so much closer than before. At this stage, my baby will now start producing me conium, the result of digestion, which will accumulate in his bowels and eventually pass during delivery or in the first diaper.                                      
This week was the week my husband and I anticipated for so long. I had my second major ultrasound where we can see each amazing bodily organ and get to measure the baby’s development. Let’s not forget to mention that this is when we get to find out if we were having a little prince or princess. The technician took us through a head to toe examination of our little bundle of joy viewing the brain, the beating heart and lungs, down to its tiny toes. We stared admonishing the screen of the GLORY of God and HIS many miracles.

“But now, O LORD, thou art our Father, we are the clay, and thou our potter, and we all are the work of thy hand.” –Isaiah 64:8

“The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life” – Job 33:4

This amazing time spent with each other as husband and wife, we held hands as we waited eagerly to view the reproductive system. To our enjoyment, we were delivered the news that we will be welcoming a baby girl into this world. Now the real work in preparation will begin in the following weeks.

I have now graduated my nickname of “Peanut” to a more personalized name, my sweet baby girl, Juliana. The American and Anglo-Saxon meaning of this name is “the name of a poem.” And how poetic is God’s hands over her development over these past few weeks!

HE had plans all along to bless my husband and I with a baby girl from the very start.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. And before you were born, I consecrated you…” – Jeremiah 1:5

The news spread to my immediate family, then to all my friends, and coworkers. Everyone shouted with tears of joy to join us in welcoming a new princess in the Godhead family. Just as the angels rejoice in heaven when one sinner comes to repentance (Luke 15:10).

Now, at 24 weeks, my baby is now 12.5 inches and the size of corn. With my second trimester coming to a close in the next three weeks, I begin to mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally prepare for delivery in just three more months. It is very hard for me to dwell on the fact of the pain I will be enduring at the end of all this. I keep thinking of the scripture:

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing, in pain you shall bring forth children.”- Genesis 3:16

This frightened me. With all of the discouraging accounts I heard from other women with their experiences of labor throughout my life, it began to place this fear in me.

God has placed the right people in my life to help get me through this fear and share with me encouraging accounts of labor. It placed a desire in my heart to go forth and search out a different way that will be a perfect fit for my baby and I. I have a midwife and doulas that are there for me to answer any medical questions that I need clarification with. I can share my concerns and my desires, they hear me, and follow through with what I want. That gives me a sense of trust and ease to know that at least one horror story I learned about is taken care of. Although I still have these fears creep up from time to time, I remember on so many accounts where God tells us, “FEAR NOT.”

I thank God for my awesome husband that helps encourage me every day. I share with him my pain, thoughts, fears, just about everything I may be feeling. He always knows how to lift up my spirits. God knows exactly who to speak through to get HIS words in our hearts. My husband acts as my protective covering, just like the protective covering over Juliana in the amniotic sac. God has placed my husband to be the head of our family and to rule over me.

“…your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you..” – Genesis 3:16

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Savior of the body.” – Ephesians 5:23.

A great parallel between the very form of how a baby is born into this world, by head first, leading and guiding its way into the Light, and followed by the body.

Although I will experience these great pains, I will be united with my little princess after such a great anticipation. For the pain only last a little while.

“A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembers no more anguish, for joy that a man is born in the world.”-  John 16:21.

This brings me the reassurance of my spiritual journey. Knowing that through this life with all its trials and tribulations, I too, along with my precious Jules, will be united with our KING once and for all at the last trumpet call. It’s such an awesome reminder during the most intricate part of every woman’s life. The whole process of pregnancy, from that first glance of a tiny test that declares the start of a new life to the many changes women goes through in the forty week period. From cravings, to morning sickness, and to each and every growing pain, we are the creatures that God has handpicked and found worthy of such a great gift, the gift hosting a life, the very breath of life that God is structuring during the time of pregnancy. With knowing this and what it means to my spiritual life, I grow each and every day with GREAT anticipation until we meet at that last day.